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MiaowConsider me. I sit here like Tiberius, inscrutable and grand. I will let "I dare not"wait upon "I would"and bear the twanglingof your small guitarbecause you are my owland foster me with milk. Why wet my paw? Just keep me in a bagand no one knows the truth. I am familiar with witchesand stand a better chance in hell than youfor I can dance on hot bricks, leap your heightand land on all fours. I am the servant of the Living God.I worship in my way. Look into these slit green stonesand follow your reflected lights into the dark. Michel, Duc de Montaigne, knew. You don't play with me. I play with you. .Mark Haddon
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A Rough GuideBe polite at the reception desk. Not all the knives are in the museum. The waitresses know that a nice boyis formed in the same way as a deckchair. Pay for the beer and send flowers. Introduce yourself as Richard.Do not refer to what somebody didat a particular time in the past. Remember, every Friday we used to gofor a walk. I walked. You walked. Everything in the past is irregular. This steak is very good. Sit down. There is no wine, but there is ice cream. Eat slowly. I have many matches.Mark Haddon